Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Caffeine Emergencies

When is it safe to stop chugging your end-of-shift, I'm-tired-as-hell-and-ready-to-go-home, emergency coffee?  When:
  • You're certain your "smile" actually looks like a real smile to guests, and not a sleepy grimace involving only muscles in the lower half of your face.
  • You're certain you even smiled.
  • You can look at guests and coworkers and respond to seeing them in less than 3 seconds.
  • You regain basic motor functions that don't relate to the cup or coffee machine.
  • Thoughts cross your mind that don't involve the terms "bed," "sleeeeep," or swear words that aren't real (e.g. crap-monkeys, foopers, god-drangit).
  • You have a heart attack.  You should probably put down the coffee if you have a heart attack.

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