Sunday, December 11, 2011

This Was Going to Be a Tweet, but It Just Kept Coming (That's What She Said)

A couple of guys come in around 2 or 3 AM. One is tall, dark, and sober, and the other is short, stocky, and staring like there's two of everything but he knows exactly which ones to keep his eye on as long as he doesn't look away.

In this case, he picked the correct me to stare intently at for the duration of making the sober fellow a new key.

They both head up the elevator.

A little while later, Drunky McStaresalot comes back down the elevator and tells me his internet isn't working, and was that usual? I asked if his room was near the elevators, and he confirms it is, and I figure it's a connection problem because those rooms are the furthest from our routers.

I dig him out an ethernet cable.

"Ethernet cable. Ethernet. Ethernet. Cable. And I just plug this into the TV? Hardline."
"I'm not actually sure where the connection is, but it should be in that area, and it'll look a little like a phone jack."
"Ethernet cable. Okay. Ethernet."
"When you check out you can just leave that in the room, or bring it on down to us, either way."
"Okay. I'll do both."

Ten minutes later he comes down the elevator again.

"What's...the wifi."
"You need the password?"
"Yeah, what's the wifi."
"It's 123."
"123. It's 123? Okay. 123."
"Yep! 123."

Few minutes later he calls down. Keep in mind, he's never actually introduced himself and I have no idea what his name really is.

"Front desk, this is Wednesday, how may I assist you?"
"Hey. This is Mark." (Long pause)
"...Hi Mark. What can I do for you?"
"Well I'm trying to get the internet to work, and it's not working. Is that unusual?"
"What happens when you open your browser window?"
"Well I don't know. I don't know. I...*unintelligible* I don't know."
"Do you see the LOL Hotel logo?"
"Yeah, yeah. I mean it isn't working, it just redirects everything to the logo."
"And underneath that logo do you see a box?"
"Just type in that box '123' and then press enter, and it should work fine for you from then on."
"Just put in...123?"
"Yes sir."
"Okay. 123. Bye."

Few minutes later.

"Front desk, this is-"
"Heyyy, this is Mark again. Every time, each time I open the browser window, it asks for a username and password. Is that unusual?"
"Are you still seeing the logo, or are you loading different pages asking for passwords?"
*Completely unintelligible*
"If you try the ethernet cable, you shouldn't need the password at all. Maybe try that?"
"It's, yeah, it's using the ethernet, it's full-blown wireless."

At this point I'm tired of this, and really don't want to explain to someone that intoxicated that he needs to USE the ethernet cable and not use wireless while just plugged IN to the ethernet, if he even was using it to begin with... but then the conversation goes in a whole other direction.

"What are you doing right now. Are you busy."
"I'm about to do some work, yes sir. I'll be busy for a couple of hours." (Read - don't bother me more after this)
"So you're about to haul ass?"
"You're leaving?"
"...No, I'm here until 7. I'm just about to be busy for a couple of hours is all."
"Is anyone down there? Down there with you?"
"...No...just me..."
"What's your major."
"What are you majoring in."
"I'm not IN college." (at the moment, but none of his beeswax?)
"What are you doing with your life."
"Oh, sorry, my bad. Thank you."
"No problem, sir, good night."



Sunday, December 4, 2011

Oh, You Make Me Feel Like Such a Success in Life, You Know That?

I keep meaning to make up a fake life story to tell curious guests (because my number one pet peeve is getting asked if I go to the local, huge college, followed closely by pitying me for working the night shift, tied with telling me to wake up) but I've just never gotten around to it. Well, that's not true - I've made up tons in my head, but they're all a little ridiculous. Like:

"Oh me? My birth parents mailed me by USPS to a circus, where I was raised juggling monkeys for my dinner. It sure was tough back then, but I'm so happy to be here now, where YES I DO happen to go to this college here in town that everyone under the age of 30 attends and everyone over that age is employed by. I mean, the apartment I live in doesn't really know about the monkeys yet, but I'll be graduating with five degrees come May and I just couldn't be happier!"

or maybe

"Do I go to school here? Why yes, yes I do. All five of my parents were alumni, too, before they all died of Tuberculosis last year. You've had a vaccine, haven't you? Because I'm kind of susceptible."

or perhaps

"Oh, I'm from here. I was born in this very building, actually! I have a slight fear of leaving, but my parents sure didn't! They travel the world and send me back suitcases of money, gold, and treasures every month. I spend it on cars, and then drive them around the parking lot. Or sometimes I spend it on really nice work clothes. I'm happy here - and I never want to leave here, and I'm definitely not a slave worker stolen at birth. Soda? Sure thing, that'll be $2.17."

Anyways. I should probably make something up one of these nights. And then stick to it. In any case, this conversation just happened with a meandering drunken fat man who wandered in a few minutes ago:

"Good evening! How are you doing tonight?"
"*Shrugs* You stuck workin' the late shift?"
"Oh, not stuck! I work it most nights, 11-7! (being cheerful)"
"Woah. That sucks."
"No, no, I like it."
"You go to school here? *Staring at my wedding ring*"
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"Well, it's none of my business. *Walks off* Well, good for you for workin'."

...What just happened? XD


Thursday, December 1, 2011

The Trouble with Calling Support...

Click it to see a picture less tiny and actually legible.

(I'm baaaack!)