Thursday, March 24, 2011

And Then the Police Showed Up and Arrested the Fly

So this woman walks into our hotel at 2:30 AM asking for a pay phone.  We don't have one, and I don't know if she's a guest or not, so I point to where our lobby phones are.  She's very polite and goes to make her phone call.  She peeks out from around the corner to ask what hotel we are ( not a guest!) and I tell her.  She goes back and completes her phone call.  She comes back into the lobby and makes a little small talk, but mostly seems like she's waiting for something.  Makes sense.  Probably needs a ride.

And then the police show up.

The police show up and remain in the little entrance section of the hotel, not saying a word to me.  They talk with the woman...then they leave.

Meanwhile, the piercing alarm in the back office that goes off every time a 911 call is made from a hotel phone will.  Not.  Shut.  Up.

She hangs out in the lobby for awhile, continuing to be polite, uses the restroom, waits for them to come back.  Eventually they do and they talk to her inside for a second, when I finally get my chance to ask a copper what is going on - because we do have to keep a record of this stuff.  He doesn't have much to say, just that somebody smashed her phone so she came here to call the cops.  That's all I got.  That's why this stupid alarm won't stop going off.  It took them an hour of sitting with two cop cars outside our hotel, four cops, all talking to this woman before they finally left.  Oh, and they mentioned we had a "geyser" in parking lot about 20 feet high.

And there is a horsefly the size of my fucking hand on the wall right behind me.

I can't stop watching it move.  I'm too scared to squash it.  La mosca muerta, those fuckers don't die.

Of course, it could just be the largest house fly on record EVER...but guys...I can see its fucking mouth.  I'm too afraid to take my eyes off of it for more than a couple of seconds.  This thing wants to eat me.

I have kind of been petrified of biting flies ever since I watched one take a strip out of a girl's leg at camp as a child.

Flies are the fucking devil, yo.


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