This Was Going to Be a Tweet, but It Just Kept Coming (That's What She Said)

A couple of guys come in around 2 or 3 AM. One is tall, dark, and sober, and the other is short, stocky, and staring like there's two of everything but he knows exactly which ones to keep his eye on as long as he doesn't look away.

In this case, he picked the correct me to stare intently at for the duration of making the sober fellow a new key.

They both head up the elevator.

A little while later, Drunky McStaresalot comes back down the elevator and tells me his internet isn't working, and was that usual? I asked if his room was near the elevators, and he confirms it is, and I figure it's a connection problem because those rooms are the furthest from our routers.

I dig him out an ethernet cable.

"Ethernet cable. Ethernet. Ethernet. Cable. And I just plug this into the TV? Hardline."
"I'm not actually sure where the connection is, but it should be in that area, and it'll look a little like a phone jack."
"Ethernet cable. Okay. Ethernet."
"When you check out you can just leave that in the room, or bring it on down to us, either way."
"Okay. I'll do both."

Ten minutes later he comes down the elevator again.

"What's...the wifi."
"You need the password?"
"Yeah, what's the wifi."
"It's 123."
"123. It's 123? Okay. 123."
"Yep! 123."
"Okay....123."

Few minutes later he calls down. Keep in mind, he's never actually introduced himself and I have no idea what his name really is.

"Front desk, this is Wednesday, how may I assist you?"
"Hey. This is Mark." (Long pause)
"...Hi Mark. What can I do for you?"
"Well I'm trying to get the internet to work, and it's not working. Is that unusual?"
"What happens when you open your browser window?"
"Well I don't know. I don't know. I...*unintelligible* I don't know."
"Do you see the LOL Hotel logo?"
"Yeah, yeah. I mean it isn't working, it just redirects everything to the logo."
"And underneath that logo do you see a box?"
"...Yes."
"Just type in that box '123' and then press enter, and it should work fine for you from then on."
"Just put in...123?"
"Yes sir."
"Okay. 123. Bye."

Few minutes later.

"Front desk, this is-"
"Heyyy, this is Mark again. Every time, each time I open the browser window, it asks for a username and password. Is that unusual?"
"Are you still seeing the logo, or are you loading different pages asking for passwords?"
*Completely unintelligible*
"If you try the ethernet cable, you shouldn't need the password at all. Maybe try that?"
"It's, yeah, it's using the ethernet, it's full-blown wireless."

At this point I'm tired of this, and really don't want to explain to someone that intoxicated that he needs to USE the ethernet cable and not use wireless while just plugged IN to the ethernet, if he even was using it to begin with... but then the conversation goes in a whole other direction.

"What are you doing right now. Are you busy."
"I'm about to do some work, yes sir. I'll be busy for a couple of hours." (Read - don't bother me more after this)
"So you're about to haul ass?"
"What?"
"You're leaving?"
"...No, I'm here until 7. I'm just about to be busy for a couple of hours is all."
"Is anyone down there? Down there with you?"
"...No...just me..."
"What's your major."
"What?"
"What are you majoring in."
"I'm not IN college." (at the moment, but none of his beeswax?)
"What are you doing with your life."
"IsthereanythingelseIcanhelpyouwith?"
"Oh, sorry, my bad. Thank you."
"No problem, sir, good night."



*sigh*

-Wednesday