Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Do Not Make Hulk Angry!

Ever meet someone who appears to be extremely calm...too calm...almost as though deep down they could be a serial killer?

This fella who just checked in gave me just that impression.

He asked when he checked in if we had any food, so I offered a few things from our menu - pizza, nachos, artichoke dip and chips...

He goes "ugh, I HATE that, that sounds just awful."  ...Artichoke dip is like the most amazing thing I've ever tasted, and if I could afford it every night I absolutely would.  Ah well.  "Do you guys have like...you must have a sandwich or something."

"Yes sir, we have sandwiches right over here.  They're a little on the expensive side, though."  Every single person I have ever sold a sandwich to complained about the price.  Every.  Single.  One.

"Oh you don't want to sell me that, then.  I get angry when I see something expensive."


And he says all of this in a completely calm, serene, I'm-about-to-murder-your-dog, relaxing voice.

"What about this stuff here?  That looks pretty dry.  That's been sitting out all day, hasn't it."  He's pointing to our bakery items.  In a refrigerated case.  At midnight.  That we rebake every 1-3 days depending on the item.

I never lie to the customers, though.  I always give my honest opinion, because otherwise I get lectured by the guests about how awful they think something or other is.  We don't have any cookies out, so I say the lemon bar is probably his best bet for fresh, delicious goodness.  Not in those words.

"Ew.  I'm going to stop asking you for things, because everything you recommend is just nasty."

It's midnight - do you know where your dog is?

"Ha...sorry, sir, guess we have different taste buds!"

"There's gotta be a fast food place around here somewhere."

So I give the guy directions.  He leaves his stuff in the lobby to go pick up a bite to eat.  I'm sure he hates my favorite fast food joint.  I glance over at his stuff as I go to sit back down.

He has a huge bag of chips on his suit case.


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